My SHERO is my daughter
DARIA
I think every mother feels like their child is the best gift bestowed upon them. I’m no exception. Therefore, I want to dedicate my SHERO blog post to tell you why my daughter has always been my hero since she was born.
“Dar” in Romanian means...
Gift
DARia was supposed to be the gift I have always wanted: something to fix and fill the lackness in my soul of not having a mother that loved me by becoming one. Daria was supposed to heal all my wounds. Becoming her mom to me is an answer to many wishes, but an answer to many questions about myself too.
I’m grateful beyond measure to get to learn from my children. I have a different connection with my girl than with my son, almost like it has a preexisting phase, a history already. With my son, it all started fresh. With Daria, it feels like our relationship has a vast background story. I think it is because of my past with my parents and my mother.
Daria gave me the power of unconditional love. For the first time, I didn’t question someone’s love. My daughter loved me deeply and unconditionally. She loves me with a passion I even have trouble understanding. When she gives me the good night hug and tells that I am the best mum she could have … to hear that from my child, especially on days when I feel like a barely adequate mother, is a tremendous gift – “dar”. Teaching Daria what she is constantly teaching me is what was needed for me to heal my past parental relationships.
I did not grow up in a family where unconditional love was shown or expressed. I couldn’t understand it until I had a daughter of my own. It’s a concept I didn’t fully understand until she was born. My daughter taught me that no matter how much I think I’m screwing up this mother thing, she’ll still love me. I know and believe it because it’s a mutual feeling. There’s nothing she can do that will ever make me love her less.
THE RESPONSIBILITY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
There’s much responsibility that comes with being the brightest star in someone’s sky.
I know that my words or actions hold much influence over my daughter. It fills me with pride when does something thoughtful for her brother or is kind to the kid who doesn’t have many friends or pics up some litter. On the opposite, I also know that when I hear my unkind words or bitchy tone from her when she is frustrated is a bad example that I set.
The beauty of the little girls who still love their bodies
My daughter still loves her body and all the things she can do with it. She’s not afraid to try something physical or worry about how her clothes make her look. It’s heartwarming, exciting and sad at the same time. Living with a girl who isn’t insecure about her body and doesn’t even know what that means is a beautiful thing. However, I hope it stays that way. I know we are on our way to these feelings of insecurity and shame. I will encourage her to love herself as much as possible and hopefully, some of that will stay through puberty.
COMPASSION
When you give birth, your heart grows. I am sure. I want to think that I’ve always been a pretty compassionate person, but when I became a mom my heart turned to mush. I look at people with an open heart and know that everyone deserves to be loved and treated with kindness. But what about these bad people you say As a mother, I wanted to mother the world. Make the world better; believe the world can be a better place. My daughter made all of us in the family vegan because she realized that animal food harms animals and our planet. All it took was to lift the curtain and see the world with her innocent, untrained eyes. As adults, we have developed a fantastic ability to look away from the “ugly” or uncomfortable things.
PATIENCE
I am not a patient person.
I learned a thing or two about patience when I became a mother. I am not a patient person. Good sir! Trying to listen to every single story, answer every reason, teach her how to tie her shoelaces, and leave the house can drive anyone crazy. But I learned patience by breathing in and out and singing “Let It Go” the whole time. Patience is a virtue indeed. Disney had crazy parents in mind with this song.
STRENGTH
I learned that I am a lot stronger than I ever thought. I am strong because I have accepted the fact that I cannot do it all. I can’t be the best at everything. I can be damn good at a lot of things. That is a superpower. I am strong because I scream the bad days and greet the new ones with a smile. I am strong because a little person calls me “Mami” and is waiting for me to teach her the ways of the world. She taught me that I was able and strong to produce life. If that’s not a superpower, I don’t know what it is. And I’m stronger because parenting taught me how to find win-win solutions to upcoming problems much easier.
GRATITUDE
Both my girl and my son help me put things in perspective. I live for their smiles and laughter. Even when the days are long, I can always find something to be grateful for, because she taught me to experience joy on a whole new level. She taught me to be grateful for everything, even to appreciate small things and see the details: a small beetle or a scrawled story on a piece of recycled background paper from my studio.
TRUST
Mom’s intuition is a thing, a real thing. Daria taught me to trust my intuition because it usually turns out to be true. I trust that I can take care of her and she trusts that I will do it. She taught me what it means to trust with total surrender. If she falls into my lap from a freefall, she knows I’ll catch her. I hope she teaches me this regularly because I like this reminder. I can now catch myself if I fall too or trust my closest life fellow travellers fully. I didn’t have that before giving birth to her.
BELIEVE IN MY DREAMS
Daria has enormous confidence in the power of her dreams and imagination.
She doesn’t question them as adults do. I learn to trust my visions and allow my dreams and imagination to inform me about what is true or real and what my place in the world is.
BE HERE AND NOW
Children live in the present – here and now – because to them everything is fresh and new. They do not have preconceived notions of how things should look or be. “Should” and “shouldn’t” are not in their vocabulary and they don’t have the labels we make, or at least they’re not tied to them. Therefore, a tree can be a fortress, and a bush can turn into a hiding cave, a bottle cap can be a rocket ship. I learn from both my kids that the spirit does not live in the present moment. Only the body and the heart do it. The more we occupy ourselves with the body and make it free, the more we will nourish our mind and our heart. And we will live in the limitless wonders of the present moment.
My little love taught me that it is always goodness in everything and that forgiveness never gets old.
Every girl deserves to be seen and celebrated for who she truly is. As a mom and photographer, I offer more than just beautiful photos—I create a confidence-boosting experience that brings out her true sparkle using improv techniques. Let’s capture her magic together.
Every girl deserves to be seen and celebrated for who she truly is. As a mom and photographer, I offer more than just beautiful photos—I create a confidence-boosting experience that brings out her true sparkle using improv techniques. Let’s capture her magic together.
If you are interested in participating as a model on a TFP basis (collaboration, read about “TFP – Time For Pictures” on Wikipedia) in one of my creative shoots, don’t hesitate to join my WhatsApp chat “Ruxi.photo – creative projects”, where I create magical things with people like you.
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